Sunday, July 10, 2005

Who is jexter?

Alright, let me get this out of the way before it snowballs. Remember I said I rarely talk directly to people? jexter just happens to be someone I talk through. Don't get the idea that he's something special, or mystically plugged in. I chose him because he's so vacant and drug addled he barely knows the difference when I take control. And he can type. You really think GOD is gonna type his own posts? Please.

A Few Quick Thoughts:

O.K. I'm in and out a lot, so don't be whining about lack of posts. I'm a busy omniscient omnipotent gender-neutral being. If you show up here and don't see any new posts, go out and smell a flower or something. You think I created them for my health?

Don't come here looking for advice on how to live your life. Try the self-help section at Borders.

I very rarely talk to people directly. Pretty much everybody who thinks they're hearing from me directly is actually picking up radio signals through their fillings; most of the people I've actually talked to end up in asylums or getting stoned to death, so I've been cutting way back on that.

I'm not real particular about what you call me; I know I've accumulated a bunch of nicknames over the eons. I gotta admit though, Anselm's "That Being Greater Than Which None Can Be Conceived" has always tickled me. I mean, doesn't that sound heavy?!? I don't let it go to my head, though; I just think it sounds cool. (You can shorten it to T.B. if you want.)

I really do have a sense of humor, despite what most religions seem to think. (One of my favorite omniscient-being one-liners: "I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken." Hah! I never get tired of that one.)

Finally: spelling mistakes? Give me a break. Everything I do is, by definition, correct. (Except for maybe Andy Rooney...Hah! Sense of humor again! I kid Andy.