Sunday, July 10, 2005

A Few Quick Thoughts:

O.K. I'm in and out a lot, so don't be whining about lack of posts. I'm a busy omniscient omnipotent gender-neutral being. If you show up here and don't see any new posts, go out and smell a flower or something. You think I created them for my health?

Don't come here looking for advice on how to live your life. Try the self-help section at Borders.

I very rarely talk to people directly. Pretty much everybody who thinks they're hearing from me directly is actually picking up radio signals through their fillings; most of the people I've actually talked to end up in asylums or getting stoned to death, so I've been cutting way back on that.

I'm not real particular about what you call me; I know I've accumulated a bunch of nicknames over the eons. I gotta admit though, Anselm's "That Being Greater Than Which None Can Be Conceived" has always tickled me. I mean, doesn't that sound heavy?!? I don't let it go to my head, though; I just think it sounds cool. (You can shorten it to T.B. if you want.)

I really do have a sense of humor, despite what most religions seem to think. (One of my favorite omniscient-being one-liners: "I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken." Hah! I never get tired of that one.)

Finally: spelling mistakes? Give me a break. Everything I do is, by definition, correct. (Except for maybe Andy Rooney...Hah! Sense of humor again! I kid Andy.

2 Comments:

Blogger beerzie boy said...

"Everything I do is, by definition, correct." Give me a break. I suppose you're going to blame the "Bewitched" movie on Free Will.

7/11/2005 01:59:00 PM  
Anonymous ThatBeingGreaterThanWhichNoneCanBeConceived said...

I understand your confusion, especially in this case. The key to understanding it is that there is often a wide gulf between 'correct' and 'entertaining'. The mistake was not in the making of the film. The mistake was in you going to see it. Not to put too fine a point on it, but this is why I provided all my creatures with brains.

Oh, and along these lines, and regarding humanity's insistance that they are the only animals that can think: did you happen to see any other members of the animal kingdom paying to see "Bewitched"?

'Nuff said.

7/11/2005 09:38:00 PM  

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