Waking Up On The Couch With A Cat On My Head Haiku

Your sandpaper tongue
rips off my epidermis.
I need a beer.

Bumped, so as not to be lost in the copious comments...

...a truly awesome Cat Haiku from teh l4m3:

Little tortoiseshell,
Cool-eyed, with claws like needles,
Gophers are your job.

Manly Cat Lover Haiku

Your bowl is empty
and you stare daggers at me.
You should get a job.

Papers, please! (yet another haiku)

Show your papers please!
You must prove that you fear me
for us to be free.

Haiku to a Kitten

It would be quite nice
if you would not bite my toes.
It's fucking painful.

To my furry friend Trinidad:

You think you're pretty fancy
with those see-in-the-dark eyes,
but I know what you're up to;
don't give me your kitty-cat lies.