Saturday, May 06, 2006

Why Does Jesus Hate America? (And I don't mean your gardener)

Wassup with Jesus?!? It's occurs to me that Jesus is probably all weepy about our wanting to kick the illegals back to their South American gutter, but of course he's already got a pretty sweet gig. Me, I'd probably be sitting in an endowed chair by now if it wasn't for Juan and Pepe undercutting my future with their cheap labor.

And why isn't he laying some rightous Old Testament Wrath on the A-rabs, instead of hanging back and boo-hooing from the sidelines?!?

I'll tell you why: JESUS HATES AMERICA.

That's right, after all the praying and cross burning and heathen whipping we've done for that asshole, this is the thanks we get.

Sheeee-it.

Don't that just fucking tear it?!?

Damn. Now what the fuck we gonna do...

17 Comments:

Blogger AnnieAngel said...

Jesus does NOT hate America!

Jesus can't go Old Testament on anyone, He is the FULFILLMENT of the OT and the foundation of the New Testament.

Jesus is not an asshole, Jexter. This post makes me sad. :(

5/06/2006 08:25:00 PM  
Anonymous Pinko Punko said...

How did anniea see this post that has just gone up on a blog that is never updated because jexter is shooting lazers at crystals in the Puget Sound!

What about antiJesus? could jexter be confused?

5/06/2006 09:44:00 PM  
Blogger AnnieAngel said...

Jesus led me here, Pinko.

5/06/2006 10:11:00 PM  
Anonymous God said...

Dear AA and PP,

jexter is detoxing, and is lashing out at everything from Jesus to red-neck wallabies. As you know, he's a very peaceful and gentle, but thoroughly vacant person, and sometimes the strain of channeling me strains his tiny neurons. Please bear with him.

I think I'll just plop him down on a beach in Jamaica for the rest of the weekend. That should tidy him up.

Thanks for understanding,

God

5/07/2006 12:20:00 AM  
Blogger AnnieAngel said...

Poor Jexter! But this first step is a big one!! I'll be praying for him!!

(((jexter)))

5/07/2006 08:46:00 AM  
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5/07/2006 09:57:00 AM  
Blogger jexter said...

Who the FUCK invited Doo-wain?!?!1!

5/07/2006 12:06:00 PM  
Blogger AnnieAngel said...

*careful! he's lashing out!!*

5/07/2006 04:26:00 PM  
Blogger jexter said...

Arrrrrghhh!!!! [lash lash]

5/07/2006 09:52:00 PM  
Blogger AnnieAngel said...

I'm in the depths of despair. No idea why I'm telling you. But I am.

5/08/2006 11:38:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jexie, how many times does AG have to tell you and the boys at 3B!, commit to being a Jew. We've got no Jewish and all it takes is one day to ask for all your sinful actions to be wiped clean.

Come-on, you know you want to. All the kewl kiddies are doing it.

5/11/2006 07:06:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Blogger is being weird. The last comment was mine.

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5/11/2006 07:21:00 AM  
Blogger Chuckles said...

Whenever I see WWJD or whatever I think about sending angels to rain fire and death, plagues of locusts and frogs, etc upon my tormentors.

Cuz that would be awesome.

5/11/2006 10:21:00 AM  
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