Preemptive self-outing.
Well, I was sure it would happen eventually, and now that "Armando" at DailyKos has had his true identity revealed, I knew I would probably be next. In truth, because of my importance, I should have come before Armando, but one allows for a certain amount randomness in these things before one gets too worked up.
When visiting this site, I'm sure many of you have thought: "Who is this brilliant person posting so very brilliantly???" Or likely you thought: "There can only be a handful of people in the entire universe with such incredible understanding and brain power!!!! He must be an extremely important man of science, and probably a SUPER-GENIUS to boot!!!" And so I realize now that by allowing my brilliance to flow so freely, and not dumbing down my posts to the level of at least above-average human beings, I've made it almost impossible for someone with even the slightest knowledge of the greatest achievements in science not to put two and two together and recognize my true identity.
So rather than wait for some troll at Science or Nature to out me, I'll do it myself.
That's right, it's true: I'm David Baltimore.
Well, that's a relief not to have to hide behind a pseudonym anymore!
All the best,
GOD
When visiting this site, I'm sure many of you have thought: "Who is this brilliant person posting so very brilliantly???" Or likely you thought: "There can only be a handful of people in the entire universe with such incredible understanding and brain power!!!! He must be an extremely important man of science, and probably a SUPER-GENIUS to boot!!!" And so I realize now that by allowing my brilliance to flow so freely, and not dumbing down my posts to the level of at least above-average human beings, I've made it almost impossible for someone with even the slightest knowledge of the greatest achievements in science not to put two and two together and recognize my true identity.
So rather than wait for some troll at Science or Nature to out me, I'll do it myself.
That's right, it's true: I'm David Baltimore.
Well, that's a relief not to have to hide behind a pseudonym anymore!
All the best,
GOD
posted by jexter at 10:26 PM
9 Comments:
You just tried to steal our schtick. Whenever requesting a table at a restaurant, we always lef the name "D. Baltimore" an obscure grad school joke, but god damn it never got old.
That's hilarious! I picked him because he has such an outrageously huge ego, there's no other pseudonym he'd be will to use.
Oh, that David Baltimore. The one who referred to a friend of mine as "a pain in the ass." At her college graduation.
I'm sure if I referred to your friend as "a pain in the ass", I was entirely correct in my assessment of both the nature of the sensation her presence elicited, as well as the physical location of that sensation. Such observations are simply my way of "connecting" with lesser intellects; I understand it puts them at ease.
I'm really Xena, Warrior Princess. Don't tell anyone or I'll cut off the flow of blood to your brain, or throw my round killing thing at you.
Weak!!! Only one Nobel prize. When you have three of those bad boyz give me a ring and we'll do lunch.
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